Trying to find answers!!!……Its all me at Grey cells ……. Unfinished thoughts

Dating a Married woman!! don’t say you were not warned!!

Posted in Divorce !!!, Friend !!!, Insecurity!, Journey, life, Losing..Love!, Love, Marriage, Men, Relation, Woman by nagaje on May 6, 2010

For the man that is looking for a married woman to have some fun with, he needs to be careful.  He may find himself involved with a woman he only wants to have fun with, and end up with so much more. Or, he may end up falling in love with a woman who will always love another man.

 Married women are looking for something to spice up their lives.  They have fallen into the rut of the day to day regime of their marriages, and are bored, neglected, lacking a sex life, seeking thrills, Or she’s just plain lonely and needs to be held, which often leading to intimacy and an affair.

 And then there’s the woman who knows she’s being cheated upon and in her hurt and anger she feels it’s payback time. And so decides to hit back in the same measure.

 If a man can steal another woman away from her husband, even if it’s only for a few hours, he will have felt like he conquered a battle.  And for a man, there is no greater reward.

 Women on the other hand are lacking emotional bonds and are looking for someone that will make them feel pretty, loved, adored, and worshipped even.

 Men will seek out any relationship, married or otherwise, with the initial intent of biological release.  They will connect with women they have chemistry with, are attracted to, and ultimately, want a sexual affair with.  For some men, these relationships evolve into an emotional bond over time. 

 For women however, the emotions come first, the sex comes second.

 Married women that are cheating simply are not clear on what they want, and so they will tell the man exactly what they want to hear. Why? Because women are experts at knowing what men want emotionally, and will give them exactly that, every time, until it is too late.

 You be honest to yourself and your wife before anything happens. You took a vow to love honour and cherish. It sounds like you didn’t understand some of that. Falling in love with someone while you are in a committed relationship only points to one thing and that is that your not committed enough.

 Dating a married woman will open up a can of worms for you is an emotional understatement

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Love – a new perspective

Posted in Losing..Love!, Love, Thoughts by nagaje on February 25, 2010

A man was polishing his new car.
His 4year old son picked up a stone and scratched on the side of the car.
In anger, the furious Man took his child’s hand & hit it many times,
not realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father, with painful eyes he asked
‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’
The man was so hurt and speechless.
He went back to the car and kicked it many times.
Devastated by his own actions, sitting in front of the car he looked at the scratches,

 His son had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’.Next day that man committed suicide.

Remember, Anger and Love has no limits…

Always remember…. .
Things are to be used and people are to be loved”

But the problem in today’s world is….
“People are being USED & Things are being LOVED”

One life to Live / Love?? Proved!! Mehrunissa Khan — Princess of Rampur!!

Posted in Book, India, life, Losing..Love! by nagaje on December 24, 2008

If  you are a Princess…. you do not need any status symbol… YOU ARE ONE!! No proving required!! Proves Princess Merunissa Khan….

I rarely sit in front of  Boob tube… but was glad when I did there was this re-telecast of…. One life to Live…. There she was all grace personified… captivating… with the host of show…. Mehrunissa the Princess of Yesteryear’s…Princess of Rampur at her mid seventies… and still a beauty with translucent skin and chiseled features. 

She’s led an adventurous life across three continents….. exposed to the contradictions  of Muslim, Western, Indian and Hindu cultures….. with her life getting into the whirlwind through a bad marriage in Lucknow, a sudden ticket to London[ to be with brother ], deep love for a Pakistani Air Force officer, a forced fleeing to Spain and at last, an asylum in America.

She grew up in palaces, surrounded by jewelry  & riches, learning to hunt & shoot …….

Like most Indian women of that era,  she was forced into an arranged marriage which was so loveless that it ended in divorce. She went  to great lengths to get divorced.  It was rare for a Muslim lady to initiate a divorce she had to give up the custody of her two kids a boy & girl … Zain & Zaiba

She later fell in love with a officer from Pakistan, Since  Pakistani law forbade Pakistanis from marrying Indians, Pakistan’s President had to change the law to allow them to marry…. but Destiny had worst designed for her  .. her husband had to flee to France and finally took political asylum in US …. he went in to depression and their son got into drugs….  she lost her love …. and son also died at the age of 23 in a car accident!! This was  the second blow life could give her……

Mehrunissa …. the princess with royal blood … fought with desting sprang back into  life …… Started teaching Hindi & Urdu at Washington DC. Her house is still under mortgage but she is not the one to be shaken …. In her own words, “My tumultuous life has shaped me,” …..“I can make things move. I don’t give up easily.” ………  ” I love my freedom and what America stands for,” she declares.

She has tried to put all her life in ” An Extraordinary Life ”  … a good read!!

She shares her apartment with her daughter Mariam ….  She is in touch with her kids from first marriage!!

She wants to study!!….She loves music… She has bought an iPod… She aspires for little extra money..Has great  Zest for life!! She loves to dance  and is very sure her counterparts  sit watching her ready to kill… She wants to meet Amitabh Bachchan…..

 She says she feels like telling GOD I still have long life to live do not take me away…. ” There are never enough years ”  she says…….

 It felt great to see someone achieved so much …. has so much zeal for life… that my Life’s problems started to diminish at   that moment atleast!!

If I can do that in MY Life!! ….

Live life King Size [ Princess Size 😉 ] …. Tall order …. Yeah???

Only Time will tell !!

 

 Cheeriooooo… 

Losing??…… Father??

Posted in DAD, Dairy, Insecurity!, Introspection, life, Losing..Love!, Relation by nagaje on December 16, 2008

Everything in Life loses meaning …… when you lose the very  reason for existance of life ……  Each day starts with a gloom and each night  unfolds dreary, dark , endless unfathomable journey into yourself ….. where all you can feel is the numbness ……. I stare into nothingness that is spread in front of my eyes so vast  that I  see nothing else!!

When I  sit howling into the night alone … I wonder  where did all the years go?? I never realised I spent ages without looking at myself in the mirror… It was the attachments / commitments / relationships that formed the very purpose of my being…….

When you lose the elixir of life…….. the main relationship what do you do?? I am yet to find answeres …. I am struggling to face the same question every day that hits me fresh… What went wrong?? Why did I lose?? What do I do?? What next?? endless Sea of conflicts that arise in me!!

My father was World to me….. Life’s day began with him… & ended for him ……  But the void that is created now is a bottomless pit……. that is filled with despair….. how am I going to cope with it???

A loss can create another loss!!!! Surprised no….. Not able to come to terms with what I am going through… I started desperately falling back on everything I had …… every small thing…..believe me WWW is the best gift to mankind if you know how to use it…….

I sit Googling [ Another life saving aide] just to see how the world takes pain ….  how the world copes with it all ….searching for the virtual brethren …. Hoping to minimise my pain pangs reading about others suffering ….. Accepting loss as the world is full of people like me…….

Can you read pain?? here?? I don’t know if you can…… pain is only felt….. unless you have already gone through the similar loss….. I don’t know….

I  was on one such journey into the virtual world.. trying to understand other’s sufferings so that I can forget my  loss atleast momentarily….. I read this heart tearing story of a father [ and here Iwas trying to forget the loss of a father….. I was extra curios to understand how father’s take loss!!! ]

This guy was fighting a legal battle for the custody of his beautiful little princesses  [ I am fighting the loss of ownership of a father ] and when the judiciary system failed to show him justice ……. he could not take the loss …..  he killed the kids on the visitation day and hanged himself ……

 

NEWS :  Father killed children after losing custody!!

A man who is believed to have smothered his two young daughters while they were on a weekend custody visit telephoned their mother to say “the children have gone to sleep forever” before killing himself, it emerged last night

read further …..  here 

Is that the way to cope with grief???? Can I do it too ??  Who ??  How ?? Where??  When?? ………A lot of new unanswered  questions to add to the bandwagon…….

😦

Where does this end  ?????………….  Will it End ???  Agony!!!

A girl & her Insecurity!!

Posted in Communication, Expectation, Insecurity!, life, Losing..Love!, Love, Woman by nagaje on August 1, 2007

Just another prattle of an Idle mind….A little story that goes with love and relation…..

There is this Boy who is out of home this weekend on a personal/professional  work.  Girl is pretty much aware of the situation, it is the work that pulls him to go out on these trips but riduculously she starts feeling insecure .

Specially when the girl never meets him over the week not having him around in the weekend should not be making any difference Ideally!! But the fact that both seem to keep weekends busy themselves brings a large disconnect between them for quite sometime, probably.  Best part is Girl is more bothered on these issues than the guy!! Not a big wonder 😉  rgt?

There is always talk about things getting better.. with more expectations added up … everytime .. nothing turned in to miracle…So it  was obvious that they weren’t going to be getting together.

 She calls him tells she is finding it difficult to accept that they are not meeting and tht she gets this wierd idea that he does not want spend time with her… He assures her that no such thing infact he wishes to spend time nad at the last minute both plan elsewhere!! She feels he is right & tells him everything is alright now!! She fels good!!

It’s Difficult for the Girl to hide all those girly feelings…. insecurities…. But nature ??? Girl is a Girl … & one can not keep acting to be sane when it is actually not so…..She always feels he does not know what bothers her, or that she is giving this relation too much of space.. or she even thinks the relation is existing only because of her…there is kind of no fire in the relation… She feels the boy is immersed in his own sea of worries…. no time for her!!

He does not make an attempt to call her and Y not! he had his stuff going great … but the girl has this butterflies in the stomach and is sure that something is clearly missing….. 

 But Now Giril is a girl as I said !! Can We really help her????

Thts another musing….

Fear of Losing ???

Posted in Get Set GO!!, life, Losing..Love!, Love, Mutation series!!, Relation, Thoughts by nagaje on July 6, 2007

I was really concerned about the way people access blogs & info centers with this tag !! 

Looks like a large crowd out their is really bothered about “LOSING” somebody!! That somebody I am sure must be the loved one!!

Now Primarily lets understand Y this fear of Losing…

 * Believe  me when I say If you lose someone that means to say they are not meant for you at all in the first place…

* If Somebody leaves you nad goes thn there has to be a misunderstanding!! Think about IT!! Try and cear out the mess .. No matter who is the root cause!! That is Only If you value the relationship… Even after the honest patient attempt if things do not go well leave it at that Love is something that comes back to you if it is yours… else just ignore .. May be that person is not worthy of you!!!!

* Fear is  a physical state of mind that eats up the basic clarity on reason and logic… Y should you fear something?? Think of what can happen if you lose this person??? ..  I do understand its easier said than done!! But .. Its worth the attempt!!

* Lifes’s all about Change!! If you have  lost someone today.. May be you are destined to meet someone else .. and who knows he/she may be better too!!

Hey !! I Belong to this category!!  Do You???

Cheerio. 

Fear of Losing… Brings the Monster in you…………….!!

Posted in Communication, Expectation, life, Losing..Love!, Love, Relation, Thoughts, Woman by nagaje on June 13, 2007

Fear … !!   Phobia.…!!!!.. Terror…!! Horror…!! Panic..!! GRrrrrrrrr…..the very basic Primal ghost that is all around us!!

Are we sure?? …….No ……..  Fear is what lies WITHIN..… Not around!! So much Deep buried inside that to uproot the very existance of it becomes a life’s Challenge!!

Fear can range in various intencities.. like….. mild caution.. to……extreme paranoia….Y do we fear something..  What are the effects on life’s smooth ride??? Fear can cause helluva havoc on anybodies life!!

It’s more a trouble when you speak with respect to relationships….. Lets see what this is all about!!

Anxiety is always fine and can be controlled infact would vanish automatically within few days….Like a New job… Marriage!…… even child birth… can give loads of anxious moments but once you test the waters you get used to the idea and life becomes smooth again……

Fear of known… is again kinda natural….. .. you know the effect of fire so when there is an outbreak you are afraid of it is just so common… Fear of water…you must have fallen into water sometimes in the past and must have been uncomfortablwe with the breathlessness you experience .. can also be easily explained and elimineted!! …This fear is response to actual danger and not envisaged!!

Every time you win, it diminishes the fear a little bit. You never really cancel the fear of losing; you keep challenging it.

Fear of Unknown… and fear of the Imaginary … are the darkest deamons to humanity and can be destructive in the relationships….. 

“Once bitten twice shy!!” A small bad patch in life can make you so over-cautious that you stop enjoying the moments of life and begin seeing the unknown ghosts. in fact you start digging for something bad to happen.. and belive me human mind’s thinking power is so strong that we create the deamons that we Fear!!

Only your mind can produce fear.

Human mind can visualise so powerfully that we can think of bad and that becomes worse than ever “Fear is a disease that eats away at logic and makes man inhuman.” …

Because you fear you may lose somebody you hold fast to them so much more strongly that you forget that you can end up suffocating the other person… you may nag them to death..!!and more than obviously! the person may want to tear apart from you or even he keeps off from you for short periods of time and that will be again a big concern to you you try and get much more out of the relationship withut even realising the staleness that has already started creeping in and a big series of chain reactions and vicious circle of habits that bring the unwanted death to the relationship. caused by nothing else but a small bad experience and the fear …..that was attached to it!!

Fear of Losing Someone in relation ship is another grave tangent to the epitome of fear…

When we have any kind of relationship  it becomes  habit forming!! than an nurturing aspect of Life!! So any thing that you start getting possescive you tend to bind all your emotional energies into it.. and that is when you start getting the fear of losing it..

Believe me if Insurence companies could have Policies for human relations the would make the highest revenues!! That is the level of insecurity you can find among the relationships and more so because of the fear of losing it!!!

Fear can be so destructive that you may end up saying that what is not mine can not be happy!! and you intentionally hurt the person!! now that is fear psychosis.. a dangerous state a human can slip into .. can be as bad as Suicidal….

 Hmmm.. thts where I want to stop !!!

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.