Trying to find answers!!!……Its all me at Grey cells ……. Unfinished thoughts

The Secret of Happiness – Said a friend

Posted in Belief, Great thinking, Insecurity!, Introspection, life, Love, me, Thoughts by nagaje on October 6, 2010

The Secret of Happiness The secret of happiness is to be free of fear. Fear is like a toxin that runs through much of our thinking. It feeds on insecurity, feeling of loss, loneliness, inadequacy and attachment.

You are loveable and loving. Accept this as Truth. Appreciate and care for yourself – truly, deeply, intensely, in a way that reflects your real value. Then you will automatically have the same regards for all other living beings and things.

Cheerioooooooo

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Priority – said a friend

Posted in Dreams, Great thinking, Insecurity!, Introspection, Thoughts, Work by nagaje on August 2, 2010

Your priorities are not determined by what you say they are. Your most genuine priorities are expressed by what you actually do with your life and your time.

Look around you, and you’ll see very clearly what your priorities have been up to this point. Those priorities have brought you to where you are right now.

 If something is truly a priority for you, you absolutely are able to find a way to reach it. If it’s not a priority, it’s probably not going to happen for you.

 You can set your priorities and you can change them at any time to be whatever you choose. But merely wishing for something does not make it a priority.

The priorities that are really priorities are the ones that dictate where you focus your awareness. The priorities that truly matter are the ones in which you invest your interest, your attention and, most importantly, your action.

 You can follow whatever priorities you choose, and in every moment you are constantly choosing. Remember, as you go through each day, to choose those priorities that will bring the special joy and fulfillment that is yours to live.

Cheerz

Who stopped your growth????

Dating a Married woman!! don’t say you were not warned!!

Posted in Divorce !!!, Friend !!!, Insecurity!, Journey, life, Losing..Love!, Love, Marriage, Men, Relation, Woman by nagaje on May 6, 2010

For the man that is looking for a married woman to have some fun with, he needs to be careful.  He may find himself involved with a woman he only wants to have fun with, and end up with so much more. Or, he may end up falling in love with a woman who will always love another man.

 Married women are looking for something to spice up their lives.  They have fallen into the rut of the day to day regime of their marriages, and are bored, neglected, lacking a sex life, seeking thrills, Or she’s just plain lonely and needs to be held, which often leading to intimacy and an affair.

 And then there’s the woman who knows she’s being cheated upon and in her hurt and anger she feels it’s payback time. And so decides to hit back in the same measure.

 If a man can steal another woman away from her husband, even if it’s only for a few hours, he will have felt like he conquered a battle.  And for a man, there is no greater reward.

 Women on the other hand are lacking emotional bonds and are looking for someone that will make them feel pretty, loved, adored, and worshipped even.

 Men will seek out any relationship, married or otherwise, with the initial intent of biological release.  They will connect with women they have chemistry with, are attracted to, and ultimately, want a sexual affair with.  For some men, these relationships evolve into an emotional bond over time. 

 For women however, the emotions come first, the sex comes second.

 Married women that are cheating simply are not clear on what they want, and so they will tell the man exactly what they want to hear. Why? Because women are experts at knowing what men want emotionally, and will give them exactly that, every time, until it is too late.

 You be honest to yourself and your wife before anything happens. You took a vow to love honour and cherish. It sounds like you didn’t understand some of that. Falling in love with someone while you are in a committed relationship only points to one thing and that is that your not committed enough.

 Dating a married woman will open up a can of worms for you is an emotional understatement

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Marriage !!??!!

Posted in Great thinking, Insecurity!, Introspection, Journey, life, Marriage, Uncategorized by nagaje on April 30, 2010

🙂  I thought I understood marriage!! But world is so full of people with better insights ..

Here is one article that made me sigh and say …. ” oh yeah ….  you are so right indeed ”   A Turbulance Called Marriage

Cheers…..

Pity on self????

Posted in Belief, Insecurity!, Introspection, Journey by nagaje on April 30, 2010

Sob story  

A tale of personal hardship or misfortune intended to arouse pity & A maudlin plea given as an explanation or a rationalization.

Self-pity

 Psychological state of mind of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not accepted the situation and does not have the confidence or ability to cope with it. It is characterized by a person’s belief that he or she is the victim of events and is therefore deserving of condolence. Self-pity is generally regarded as a negative emotion in that it does not generally help deal with adverse situations. However, in a social context, it may result in either the offering of sympathy or advice.

 People who wallow in Self pity  & go on with Sob stories to attain any ulterior motive….. Like extortion of money [ Small amounts may be ] &  Sex and the likes!!!

 The dynamics of self-less ness and altruism verses selfishness and lust get challenged in a pity-sex dynamic since sex is inherently selfish. Sex is just two people getting off on each other like animals and satisfying their lusts. I don’t see anything wrong with charity and altruism or with someone helping someone in general — so when that gets combined with lust and sex — it’s like I’m seeing a chemical explosion here or something!!!

 If at all anyone needs to help a person….Help them to understand their strength… Help them to understand their capacity… help them to come out of their state… Like…. “ Teaching to FISH “  But guess what we are good at giving Fish for a day!! And let the guy stay in his pit of pity…. I guess that kinda gives an upper hand and feeling of superiority!!

Not sure……………. just a wandering thought!!

Losing??…… Father??

Posted in DAD, Dairy, Insecurity!, Introspection, life, Losing..Love!, Relation by nagaje on December 16, 2008

Everything in Life loses meaning …… when you lose the very  reason for existance of life ……  Each day starts with a gloom and each night  unfolds dreary, dark , endless unfathomable journey into yourself ….. where all you can feel is the numbness ……. I stare into nothingness that is spread in front of my eyes so vast  that I  see nothing else!!

When I  sit howling into the night alone … I wonder  where did all the years go?? I never realised I spent ages without looking at myself in the mirror… It was the attachments / commitments / relationships that formed the very purpose of my being…….

When you lose the elixir of life…….. the main relationship what do you do?? I am yet to find answeres …. I am struggling to face the same question every day that hits me fresh… What went wrong?? Why did I lose?? What do I do?? What next?? endless Sea of conflicts that arise in me!!

My father was World to me….. Life’s day began with him… & ended for him ……  But the void that is created now is a bottomless pit……. that is filled with despair….. how am I going to cope with it???

A loss can create another loss!!!! Surprised no….. Not able to come to terms with what I am going through… I started desperately falling back on everything I had …… every small thing…..believe me WWW is the best gift to mankind if you know how to use it…….

I sit Googling [ Another life saving aide] just to see how the world takes pain ….  how the world copes with it all ….searching for the virtual brethren …. Hoping to minimise my pain pangs reading about others suffering ….. Accepting loss as the world is full of people like me…….

Can you read pain?? here?? I don’t know if you can…… pain is only felt….. unless you have already gone through the similar loss….. I don’t know….

I  was on one such journey into the virtual world.. trying to understand other’s sufferings so that I can forget my  loss atleast momentarily….. I read this heart tearing story of a father [ and here Iwas trying to forget the loss of a father….. I was extra curios to understand how father’s take loss!!! ]

This guy was fighting a legal battle for the custody of his beautiful little princesses  [ I am fighting the loss of ownership of a father ] and when the judiciary system failed to show him justice ……. he could not take the loss …..  he killed the kids on the visitation day and hanged himself ……

 

NEWS :  Father killed children after losing custody!!

A man who is believed to have smothered his two young daughters while they were on a weekend custody visit telephoned their mother to say “the children have gone to sleep forever” before killing himself, it emerged last night

read further …..  here 

Is that the way to cope with grief???? Can I do it too ??  Who ??  How ?? Where??  When?? ………A lot of new unanswered  questions to add to the bandwagon…….

😦

Where does this end  ?????………….  Will it End ???  Agony!!!

Can marriages survive infidelity?? One that is history too!!

Posted in Communication, Insecurity!, life, Love, Marriage, Men, Woman by nagaje on August 7, 2007

People marry for various reasons … But can the marriage strengthen the realtionship or does it provide an platform to dig into the human nature of the partners or even the past to draw a curtain ……..on existing good  Life! …… Sad! Yeah….

Its always right for a girl to confess that she was having affair before wedding they feel that they are being angels of honesty in the act… but on the same score can they really accept the fact that even men could have had affirs? in the same past..

More so bcoz for a man affair is an impule buy… an easy sexual oppurtunity too good to pass up.. a woman may weigh the consequences .. thus a confesssion of infidelity can be a too scary .. it can bring the devil out of a wife .. as she feels the infidelity is a kind of rejection to them..only!!

Most of the times straying out of marriage need not be for sex .. or  wife… It can be her nagging sense of insecurity.. and constant appeal for assuring the love is always there ..can get stiffling too.. Ironically most of the couples have accepted the fact that the heated arguments always end up in passionate Sex.. but it can stimulate lot of withdrawal symptoms .. 

Though men  do not look around for any newer pastures….. you end up being nice to a listening ear , compassionate person.. who gives what men always want .. admiration.. to  everything they do!!.. good ..intelligent.. great in bed.. nice company .. are all the well accepted norms  a man would want to hear….  All this without an ounce of commitment…… for any kind of relation..but believe me they get it too.. loads of them 😦

All they can end up saying is  ” I got Carried away!! ”  “I was trying to runaway from an imaginary problem to end up here!! ”  Nice to hear ??.. Men are too good at saying …….. ‘ why can’t she see I need her??”………. I come home to Good Hug and Hot meal.. Followed by hot meat 😉 ….. I do not want to change my lifestyle for her…….. I feel my life’s getting slotted into hers.. Common quotes??? Huh??…………….. “Men need to be applauded for what they’re bringing to the relationship, whether it’s sexually, romantically or financially,”

 “Often affairs are the angry response of the person not getting what he legitimately wants and needs from the marriage and feeling as if his partner just refused to give it,”……. How can we solve it???Big question??

Simple answer BeOpen .. Be honest… Ask … Don’t assume.. Be compassionate.. try and understand… give it Time.. and more so do not hate!!!

Cheerio………..

A girl & her Insecurity!!

Posted in Communication, Expectation, Insecurity!, life, Losing..Love!, Love, Woman by nagaje on August 1, 2007

Just another prattle of an Idle mind….A little story that goes with love and relation…..

There is this Boy who is out of home this weekend on a personal/professional  work.  Girl is pretty much aware of the situation, it is the work that pulls him to go out on these trips but riduculously she starts feeling insecure .

Specially when the girl never meets him over the week not having him around in the weekend should not be making any difference Ideally!! But the fact that both seem to keep weekends busy themselves brings a large disconnect between them for quite sometime, probably.  Best part is Girl is more bothered on these issues than the guy!! Not a big wonder 😉  rgt?

There is always talk about things getting better.. with more expectations added up … everytime .. nothing turned in to miracle…So it  was obvious that they weren’t going to be getting together.

 She calls him tells she is finding it difficult to accept that they are not meeting and tht she gets this wierd idea that he does not want spend time with her… He assures her that no such thing infact he wishes to spend time nad at the last minute both plan elsewhere!! She feels he is right & tells him everything is alright now!! She fels good!!

It’s Difficult for the Girl to hide all those girly feelings…. insecurities…. But nature ??? Girl is a Girl … & one can not keep acting to be sane when it is actually not so…..She always feels he does not know what bothers her, or that she is giving this relation too much of space.. or she even thinks the relation is existing only because of her…there is kind of no fire in the relation… She feels the boy is immersed in his own sea of worries…. no time for her!!

He does not make an attempt to call her and Y not! he had his stuff going great … but the girl has this butterflies in the stomach and is sure that something is clearly missing….. 

 But Now Giril is a girl as I said !! Can We really help her????

Thts another musing….