Trying to find answers!!!……Its all me at Grey cells ……. Unfinished thoughts

Trust??? Trust yourself first!!

Posted in Belief, Expectation, Friend !!!, Great thinking, life, Thoughts, Trust by nagaje on July 28, 2010

If you can believe what you are told is true [Remember!! Truth is NOT relative term] & a promise made will be kept & that the person will not let you down and in case of doubt the person will go an extra mile for you…..That is TRUST!!!! & definitely not four different people 

 Only Time teaches one to recognize a trustworthy person ….. In any case… trust like relation grows over a period …. I’ve been royally hurt in the past yet I choose to trust people, knowing pretty well that I might get hurt again.

How does one gain trust???

Even small lies , such as saying you’re working late when you’re actually having a drink with friends can be disastrous ….Once you get caught in the lie, people start wondering what else you’re lying about.

Never accuse anyone of cheating or lying unless you can prove it to the book. This attitude breeds mistrust…unhealthy for any relation

It’s a crime to penalize your present relationship for the past experiences that left a bad taste….. You need to realize your priority & need for the relationship that’s on your plate… not the spilt spoilt ones……

Remember you chose to get into the relationship with your own volition else you would not be in to it at all…. If you trust yourself, you know you made the right choice.

And BEST part of all If you can not sustain any longer … ….

If Trust is a costly commodity, its time you made a clean exit… Without letting the resentment spread… Don’t let any irritation build up ….instead have healthy conflict.

Take some time to reflect on your standards.

 What are your standards for a relationship?

What standards do you hold for yourself?

What are the values in your life?

What are you known for?

And then…begin letting significant people in your life know.

They will respect you.

They will know you more deeply.

They will thank you for the opportunity to know you.

They will see you as a person of character.

They can count on you.

They know exactly what is behind and within you.

They will trust you…. And that what is need of the hour!!!……



Dating a Married woman!! don’t say you were not warned!!

Posted in Divorce !!!, Friend !!!, Insecurity!, Journey, life, Losing..Love!, Love, Marriage, Men, Relation, Woman by nagaje on May 6, 2010

For the man that is looking for a married woman to have some fun with, he needs to be careful.  He may find himself involved with a woman he only wants to have fun with, and end up with so much more. Or, he may end up falling in love with a woman who will always love another man.

 Married women are looking for something to spice up their lives.  They have fallen into the rut of the day to day regime of their marriages, and are bored, neglected, lacking a sex life, seeking thrills, Or she’s just plain lonely and needs to be held, which often leading to intimacy and an affair.

 And then there’s the woman who knows she’s being cheated upon and in her hurt and anger she feels it’s payback time. And so decides to hit back in the same measure.

 If a man can steal another woman away from her husband, even if it’s only for a few hours, he will have felt like he conquered a battle.  And for a man, there is no greater reward.

 Women on the other hand are lacking emotional bonds and are looking for someone that will make them feel pretty, loved, adored, and worshipped even.

 Men will seek out any relationship, married or otherwise, with the initial intent of biological release.  They will connect with women they have chemistry with, are attracted to, and ultimately, want a sexual affair with.  For some men, these relationships evolve into an emotional bond over time. 

 For women however, the emotions come first, the sex comes second.

 Married women that are cheating simply are not clear on what they want, and so they will tell the man exactly what they want to hear. Why? Because women are experts at knowing what men want emotionally, and will give them exactly that, every time, until it is too late.

 You be honest to yourself and your wife before anything happens. You took a vow to love honour and cherish. It sounds like you didn’t understand some of that. Falling in love with someone while you are in a committed relationship only points to one thing and that is that your not committed enough.

 Dating a married woman will open up a can of worms for you is an emotional understatement

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Friend!! Not in my words again …

Posted in Friend !!!, Great thinking, Love, Thoughts by nagaje on September 6, 2007

 A friend …… the meaning anybody can understand!! …… But how many of us can live up to it??

Check it up .. yourself!! ………………. Here it goes!!

I can’t give solutions to all of life’s problems, doubts,

or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will

search for answers.

I can’t change your past with all it’s heartache and pain,

nor the future with its untold stories.

But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can’t keep your feet from stumbling.

I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;

Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;

I can only support you, encourage you,

and help you when you ask.

I can’t prevent you from falling away from friendship,

from your values, from me.

I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can’t give you boundaries which I have determined for you,

But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,

room to be yourself.

I can’t keep your heart from breaking and hurting,

But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces

and put them back in place.

I can’t tell you who you are.

I can only love you and be your friend. 

Friend …….an alter Ego!!

Posted in Friend !!!, That's me, Thoughts by nagaje on January 24, 2007

Friend in need is a friend Indeed ‘  Oldest saying rgt???? I just do not understand Y a friend has to b measured in times of need !!!! 

Friend for me is an entity …. who is an alter ego of you …. Friend in whole must b you yourself!! I mean .. ‘ You r what you are when U r alone !! rgt ?? ‘……. I feel U should b able to see yourself in a friend!!

Now not as a mirror but the whole of you…I just happened to read…….‘Friend uderstands what you do not say ‘ bcoz he is you!!!!

You know wht with a friend you can b naked I do not mean the physical nudity here… naked is what U r whn u r not in front of anybody…. Whn U r all by yourself !! The TRUE U  ….. All of us do portray different images of ourselves depending on lot of factors…..depending on person u r with … situation… stress… whole lot of emotional binding….

We tend to b manipulative always in many ways … and believe me its really a bliss whn u really do not have to hide behind mask and bring out the real you thts a great feel good factor!!

With a real buddy U  can always b YOU !! Do whatever you want and he is all thr for you unchanged! Friend is NOT a need … but that primal want….without which you r lost out in this mega universe…

Tell Me something  you do not  …  meaning you can not literally atleast  Cheat yourself rgt???  There you go… you r true to yourself .. is being a friend to self … First friend anybody can get is Oneself!! B’coz at the end of any day you can not b manipulative to youself Unless you are Sick!!!!

See… Thats wht I mean whn I say your true friend has to b an alter ego!!!! Not being able to Manipulate!!!……. My piece of little advice to anyone who has a true friend with whom you can b all yourself.. Please please maintain…. nurture…. that precious relationship as you are one of those rare blessed kind !!! Dont raise brows and ask me If a friend is myself ……Y  the need for nourishment!! We all do take good care of ourselves rgt??? So Y not care this Gem you happen to stumble upon …..on your longest journey of life to make life a pleasant path to tread on… and to b with you whatever you do!!

I do some kind of post scripting to this blog!! An Homage to my friends……….

 I have this Lil’ friend !! [ Younger,  is all I meant] who allows me wet her shoulder ….Blow my trumpet … wake her up in the wee hrs of morn whn she is trying to catch few winks… she works in shifts!! just to tell a stupid sad story of mine… drag her from shop to shop till we r exhausted shopping!! …… Eat only ice-cream instead of lunch…..Sit on the curb of the road crying.. and talking endlessly.. Scream at her 4 no reason…. Buy her whatever I lik and make her get twinkles in the eye..List is endless…Yaar ..BUT I LOVE HER…. She is great friend!!

And then thr is this Big Friend of mine …Older to me …. who keeps .. encouraging me …realising my own worth..telling me I CAN… sort of things .. listen to my cries… showing me greater heights that I can measure up to…. laughing with me… talk to me on my journey home [Thanks to Mobile though!!]…. Trying to give me that most sought after space in the relationship……….admonish whn I go wrong!! Giving me those small pep talks…..I do enjoy!! FRIENDS!!

To you Guys … I owe a lot!!!