Trying to find answers!!!……Its all me at Grey cells ……. Unfinished thoughts

Gone with the wind!! ……. It kept adding the courage to Live!!

Posted in Hope, Introspection, Movie through my eyes by nagaje on December 28, 2008


Margret  Mitchell is a great author …… This was the only novel  published during her lifetime, and it took her ten years to write it. This novel won her Pulitzer Prize in 1937 … supposed to have sold more copies than any other book except Bible….. close to 30 million copies sold….

The book was almost titled quoting the end line,  “Tomorrow is another day”; but the publisher at the time noted there were several books close to the same title, so Margret was asked to find another title that became, ” Gone with the Wind “, which again is a monologue in the book where the main characters wonders … if her home was also had ” gone with the wind which had swept through Georgia” ….  but finds that her home stood as tall her courage.

With such an accolade, movie based on this book should be equally worthy and that’s what is ” Gone with the Wind ”  for you….. really a long movie almost 3 hrs 45 mins of your day 🙂 if you are set to watch ……. nonetheless  not a movie to miss.

It has lot more feathers to add to its cap …..  Read about the awards galore here —- Awards

Movie is a Romantic drama set during  American Civil War & its Reconstruction  … Movie opens in to the opulent back drop of cotton plantaion & the idyllic life of the rich & wealthy with parties and gossip .

The strory is woven around the protagonist Scarlett O’Hara who is charm  personified … but as the movies rolls you can clearly see she is epitome of solid mental strength and she tries her best not to be a weakling while batling through life….

As most of Love stories the plot unwinds with strong emotions like treachery, jealousy , conceit ,deciet,  infidelity , betrayal, passion …….. at the same time it also brings the naked macabre scenes of gruesome death and blood of wartime tyranny and the compassionate selfless help that was expected of people… best part, how the royalty coped with it….

Scarlett an vivacious spirit infatuated with a man  [ Who is deeply in love with another girl ] tries to snatch him with her wiked charm…… and just to begrudge him gets married to another friend….. loses him at war time and tries to find every reason to dance & party unable to cope up with widowhood…..Looks after a girl she despised during war… becomes a volunteer to serve wounded soldiers…. when the  war  drains her she longs to go home…. and wishes her home ‘ Tara’ is not  burnt down in the fire of the yankee war…

She sets on a long journey saving a young mother with the infant to her home  to be greeted by the barren land and what is left of home from the fury of the  war …. with most of the slaves gone… Mother dead… father demented… sisters sick with typhoid….. she puts her heart and soul to make home a place to live for for all f them….. she tries to desperately profess her love again… but realises she has lost it now because of the baby …… To save her home from taxes she also proposes to become mistress… But eventually cons her sisrer’s fiancee to marry her and gets hold of the business he was running & makes it more profitable…….. Loses this husband also in an mishap…..

Finally Settles down with a man she begrudgingly acknowledges for wealth & passion ……. Life seems all good as the husband lets her have the best of everything … her home Tara put back into life… has a beautiful child .. great society life again……

For once her husband will be the best one any girl could wish for … but for their own confusions in the past, both can not openly declare the true love and keep daring each other…. She loses her child and the husband grief stricken by the loss … blinded by the doubt he has always on her old flame….. Leaves her for ever without caring the love she confesses ll along leaving Scarlett alone again … in her life that she Resorts to her original strength ……… her Home TARA…..  Hoping Tomorrow would b another day… that would get her love back!!!


A great movie ….. I could not tear my eyes off the screen all along…. You bet worth your time!!!


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Nutty affair — Almonds the best of all..

Posted in Food by nagaje on December 28, 2008

Well well … holidays…. all you should think about is   eat .. sleep …rest!! and Why not ??

So you can not blame me if I am thinking food all along!! Now almonds have caught my fancy!! Just because its the best nut of all…. ‘King’ of the nutty kingdom!!

Thanks to those Persian / Afghan traders we are enjoying Almonds today.. It is looked upon as the power house of energy!! and also used as the brain food… It is still considered as a delicacy… cherished  gift best of all a great munchie!!

Almonds are of 2 varieties Sweet  &  Bitter…… Sweet ones govern the food you cook… &  Bitter ones become a part of perfumes / syrups…

Almond butter is the best way you can use them… hmmmmm… yummy!! They have 20% protien.. close to 55 % fat!! Shocked ??  Dont be …. its Good Fat…. that adds glow to Skin / Hair / Nails….. Half beauty parlour 😉

It also has great fibre content that gives  the fullness of a food with good nutrient density….

Best to have Almonds as the first food of the day… Pre- soaked can help maintain the blood sugar level constant throughout the day….. 

Make sure Almonds are fresh … while consuming … avoid the sugary/ salty varieties…. Avoid with meals also as they are high in calories….

Totally Nuts Am I??? Yup… if you can find healthy / supple / beautiful body … why not Fall in love with this Nut with healing touch!! you will never regret..



Red means Go!! Jolly Go?? — Reality on “Red Meat”

Posted in Uncategorized by nagaje on December 26, 2008

Surprised?? Yeah that’s  exactly  how I felt when I read about it  too….

Red meat !! getting out of ‘ Bad Boy ‘ reputation?? hmmm isn’t that a relief??you can devour on a lot of things …

 But ..

Of course little caution has to be maintained … that the cuts are lean/fat trimmed/moderate serving sizes… now that’s certainly not a tall order! what say??  

Oh Boy am I going to enjoy my Mutton Biriyani more now???…. Oh Yeah…  you bet!!

So what’s the factsheet?? Here you go!!

* Lean & fat trimmed meat is low in sturated fat.

* Lean red meat can lower blood pressure.

* Lean  meat contributes the same amount of Omega-3 fatty acids as Fish!

* Higher protien diet including lean meat is valid option for people trying to lose weight!

* Its been adviced not to take more than 500 g of lean meat / week and ofcourse avoid pocessed meat like Ham / Bacon/Salami/Frankfurt etc.

* Its also said that one needs to cut back on purine rich foods like Organ meats/Shellfish/Sardines  as they increase Uric acid levels…


So what are you waiting for?? Let the guilt rest gorge on Red meat!! I am anyway on my way to Biriyani House 😉


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One life to Live / Love?? Proved!! Mehrunissa Khan — Princess of Rampur!!

Posted in Book, India, life, Losing..Love! by nagaje on December 24, 2008

If  you are a Princess…. you do not need any status symbol… YOU ARE ONE!! No proving required!! Proves Princess Merunissa Khan….

I rarely sit in front of  Boob tube… but was glad when I did there was this re-telecast of…. One life to Live…. There she was all grace personified… captivating… with the host of show…. Mehrunissa the Princess of Yesteryear’s…Princess of Rampur at her mid seventies… and still a beauty with translucent skin and chiseled features. 

She’s led an adventurous life across three continents….. exposed to the contradictions  of Muslim, Western, Indian and Hindu cultures….. with her life getting into the whirlwind through a bad marriage in Lucknow, a sudden ticket to London[ to be with brother ], deep love for a Pakistani Air Force officer, a forced fleeing to Spain and at last, an asylum in America.

She grew up in palaces, surrounded by jewelry  & riches, learning to hunt & shoot …….

Like most Indian women of that era,  she was forced into an arranged marriage which was so loveless that it ended in divorce. She went  to great lengths to get divorced.  It was rare for a Muslim lady to initiate a divorce she had to give up the custody of her two kids a boy & girl … Zain & Zaiba

She later fell in love with a officer from Pakistan, Since  Pakistani law forbade Pakistanis from marrying Indians, Pakistan’s President had to change the law to allow them to marry…. but Destiny had worst designed for her  .. her husband had to flee to France and finally took political asylum in US …. he went in to depression and their son got into drugs….  she lost her love …. and son also died at the age of 23 in a car accident!! This was  the second blow life could give her……

Mehrunissa …. the princess with royal blood … fought with desting sprang back into  life …… Started teaching Hindi & Urdu at Washington DC. Her house is still under mortgage but she is not the one to be shaken …. In her own words, “My tumultuous life has shaped me,” …..“I can make things move. I don’t give up easily.” ………  ” I love my freedom and what America stands for,” she declares.

She has tried to put all her life in ” An Extraordinary Life ”  … a good read!!

She shares her apartment with her daughter Mariam ….  She is in touch with her kids from first marriage!!

She wants to study!!….She loves music… She has bought an iPod… She aspires for little extra money..Has great  Zest for life!! She loves to dance  and is very sure her counterparts  sit watching her ready to kill… She wants to meet Amitabh Bachchan…..

 She says she feels like telling GOD I still have long life to live do not take me away…. ” There are never enough years ”  she says…….

 It felt great to see someone achieved so much …. has so much zeal for life… that my Life’s problems started to diminish at   that moment atleast!!

If I can do that in MY Life!! ….

Live life King Size [ Princess Size 😉 ] …. Tall order …. Yeah???

Only Time will tell !!



Losing??…… Father??

Posted in DAD, Dairy, Insecurity!, Introspection, life, Losing..Love!, Relation by nagaje on December 16, 2008

Everything in Life loses meaning …… when you lose the very  reason for existance of life ……  Each day starts with a gloom and each night  unfolds dreary, dark , endless unfathomable journey into yourself ….. where all you can feel is the numbness ……. I stare into nothingness that is spread in front of my eyes so vast  that I  see nothing else!!

When I  sit howling into the night alone … I wonder  where did all the years go?? I never realised I spent ages without looking at myself in the mirror… It was the attachments / commitments / relationships that formed the very purpose of my being…….

When you lose the elixir of life…….. the main relationship what do you do?? I am yet to find answeres …. I am struggling to face the same question every day that hits me fresh… What went wrong?? Why did I lose?? What do I do?? What next?? endless Sea of conflicts that arise in me!!

My father was World to me….. Life’s day began with him… & ended for him ……  But the void that is created now is a bottomless pit……. that is filled with despair….. how am I going to cope with it???

A loss can create another loss!!!! Surprised no….. Not able to come to terms with what I am going through… I started desperately falling back on everything I had …… every small thing…..believe me WWW is the best gift to mankind if you know how to use it…….

I sit Googling [ Another life saving aide] just to see how the world takes pain ….  how the world copes with it all ….searching for the virtual brethren …. Hoping to minimise my pain pangs reading about others suffering ….. Accepting loss as the world is full of people like me…….

Can you read pain?? here?? I don’t know if you can…… pain is only felt….. unless you have already gone through the similar loss….. I don’t know….

I  was on one such journey into the virtual world.. trying to understand other’s sufferings so that I can forget my  loss atleast momentarily….. I read this heart tearing story of a father [ and here Iwas trying to forget the loss of a father….. I was extra curios to understand how father’s take loss!!! ]

This guy was fighting a legal battle for the custody of his beautiful little princesses  [ I am fighting the loss of ownership of a father ] and when the judiciary system failed to show him justice ……. he could not take the loss …..  he killed the kids on the visitation day and hanged himself ……


NEWS :  Father killed children after losing custody!!

A man who is believed to have smothered his two young daughters while they were on a weekend custody visit telephoned their mother to say “the children have gone to sleep forever” before killing himself, it emerged last night

read further …..  here 

Is that the way to cope with grief???? Can I do it too ??  Who ??  How ?? Where??  When?? ………A lot of new unanswered  questions to add to the bandwagon…….


Where does this end  ?????………….  Will it End ???  Agony!!!

Banaras [ Kaashi ] — A logical end to Hindu life??

Posted in Bolly wood, Movie through my eyes by nagaje on December 14, 2008


No place in the world is associated with Religion & Death simultaneously as Benaras / Banaras / Varanasi / Kaashi …. Every Hindu wants end his life’s journey in the abode of Lord Shiva …. Having a good death is as important as having good life….. That is  ” Kaashi “  for you in two justified sentences ….

” Banaras ”  Movie also sends same intensity of thoughts as you really get into the movie…. though it is just portrayed as “ A Mystic Love story ”

Pankaj Parashar has handled the story with utmost sensitivity as the topic deserves ….. the background score by Surender Sodhi is great… Banaras has been Mystically and beautifully captured on celluloid by Nirav Shah. .. Dilouges have been just out of life, Natural, heart rendering by Javed Siddiqui

Urmila[ Shwethambari] the epitome of ethereal beauty has done more than justice to her role as a Love / Spiritually inclined scholar of religion ….  Dimple[ Gayatri devi] dons the role of a mother with the sophistication, her performance is out of the world when she reveals the truth in the climax  ….. None other than Raj Babbar [Mahendranath] would have done justice to the role of doting father who ignores the social restrictions for the sake and happiness of his daughter…… Ashmit patel[ Soham] is an discovery to many in this movie, who has  proven his mettle  impresses anyone tremendously.

The movie is for a sophisticated niche audience that can watch it with an open mind… as the story revolves around the caste system that still prevails in certain parts of the country…. the journey into self realisation…. supreme struggle towards life without attachments….. Conspiracy of a mother to protect her prodigy……. Revealation of sordid truth….. coming to terms with reality….. one roller coaster ride into the turmoils of human emotions….

Shwetambari, a svelte, young daughter of rich Brahmin parents,  studies science at an University in Banaras.  Soham , is a low caste mystic who teaches music at the University. When the two fall in love, hell breaks loose.

Despite of all opposition from the orthodox society …. parents finally give in and consent to the marriage …. but desiny had its own design… soham gets murdered on the day of marriage…. Shweta abondons the most coveted city Banaras …. Searching for answers she embarks into journey of introspection…. tries to detach herself from all worldy ties .. as the despair looms on her life….

The movie unfolds unexpected series of events towards the climax… when Shweta, now a world teacher in philosophy and religion returs to Benaras after 17  years  to meet her father on death bed…. fighting her inner turbulence as she denies all her attachments ….. Little does she  realize that she is going to  confront the sleeping demons and the dark secrets lying underneath erupt like a dormant volcano…… that will question the very being of  her so called Self realization……. the movie takes you to the zenith of emotions in the concluding part when she realizes her own mother was the mastermind behind the Murder os Soham…. ..

Well …… I had a good Handkerchief  to see me through the tears that was streaming through my eyes unknowingly … uncontrollably…..

Not a Movie for the masses though!!!

Father — Begining of the world?? OR End of the world??

Posted in Belief, Child in me, DAD, life, Men, Mother, That's me, Thoughts by nagaje on December 14, 2008

Surprisingly neither is  true!!…… knowing my prattle all the while,  I know you guys will read this on too…..

Father — A Big name in a kid’s world ……. especially that little princess who is mostly protected by the ” First Hero ”  of her life ….  all her young years …. Lots of studies have revealed the fact that a father-daughter relationship has the biggest impact on het future partner ….

But ignorant to this fact Mother is given the highest pedestal in a child’s upbringing …… Its such a myopic  misconception we have in our family lives that father is  ONLY the bread winner of the family & thus becomes the  ” Role Model” only to the boy kids assuming  they are going to don the same mantle in the years to come…… and a father is just not expected to know of  Teddy bears / Doll houses / Barbie dolls — of their own dainty little doll ……..

A father’s right care can make that  ” Fragile” girl  really confident to face the realities of the world!! ……… Can U believe Nehru being a forced ” Absent father ” kept in touch with Indira Priyadarshini [ Yeah ….  Our Indira Gandhi ] with a lot of letters he kept writing to her from all over the world… from the prison too…. [ All of them have been compiled into a book ” Glimpses of World History ” ]

A girl keeps observing her Dear old Dad always… funnily enough an ‘ absent father ‘ also!! …

Wondering what it is ?? Read all about  types of father in this link  ” TYPES OF FATHERS “

Ironically what ever is the kind of father a girl has she continues to “Seek”  out to a man who is te replica of her Daddy no matter what he is / was …. this psychology is what makes the presence of a ” Right ”  Daddy in a girl’s life more essential…. But again not all are Lucky!!

It is also proven fact that a girl who does not get father’s care becuase of the way he is or because of the absence of a father in her life has her Marital Life doomed from the begining ….. unless a great care and counselling is given by the mother right from the begining …. imbibing the true/strong values of a father even if you did not have one!!!

A father needs to own up the daughter …… alive or dead ….. yeah dead… as the mother will be the true mirror of what the father was and thus father becomes the reason for the whole behavioral pattern of a girl especially her interactions with the men of her life….. and essentially the most important person of her life ….. the husband!! and of course KIDS of her life!!

Even as you read this, your child may be seeking attention elsewhere.  If you aren’t there for the child, you are losing a battle you aren’t even fighting.  Your child  could be seduced by the fantasies portrayed on television.

As a father, you have more power to influence your child than anyone else on earth.  I do not mean discount mothers.    Atleast mothers try & make the attempt, many fathers don’t.   Onevshould be a father who takes an interest in every aspect of your child’s life.  This can be done  only through being there for the child.

The day of the gruff and distant father needs to be put to rest.  If nothing else, a child needs someone to talk to that he/she can trust.   Fathers should take this role most seriously. 

Why am I thinking…….. all these???  …… I had a great Dad too….. But now all broken thoughts……..

Comments?? Please do not Its just an journey in to self…..